Controlling
01 June 2012
Article summary
When the fear is there, the controlling nature arise within. When controlling arise there are loads of problems arise too.
Parents controls the kids, kids controls the parents, Husband controls the wives and wives controls the husbands… friends to friends… bosses to workers… teachers to students… government to common people… the controlling nature is visible in every kind of relationship.
If you notice carefully you can see that is just because the fear of losing. Fear of losing loved ones or fear of losing the status or standards… fear of losing the personality cause to control the surrounding according to the way we wish.
When everything seems like happening according to the way we wish, we attach. When things are not happening according to the way we desire the anger and other kind of suffering arises.
In between all these moments identified as the life. We need to see these "I" & "Mine" packages behave as the way we want. Our desire is to control them. That's why as a child we start to cry when things not happen as the way we desire.
That's the reason we happen to fight with our parents or teachers as a teen or young one when things not happen as the way we desire. That's why as a husband you like to control your wife and as a wife you like to control your husband… that's why as the parents you like to control your kids, that's why as kids you like to control your parent.
When we feels like things are in our control we call them, “I” or “mine”… that’s how the ego layers related to the controlling nature. As you see everything are perfectly related each other and when you identify one of these natures you can be free from all the other kind of disturbing natures.
How the law of impermanence related to this emotion?
You know things are impermanence and that cause you to be more protective. Don’t they? You know your beloved ones are fragile… anytime anything can be happen. This makes you more protective towards them and you begin to control them as the way you want. For the one who get controlled, that situation also impermanence so they feel relief… this way law of impermanency bring worst and the best things to life…
So where we got wrong? What we are missing?